Five Ways to Love Past the Puppy Love Days

[tm_pb_section admin_label="section"][tm_pb_row admin_label="row"][tm_pb_column type="4_4"][tm_pb_text admin_label="Text" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"]   Marriage. When you're 5-10 plus years in, for most of us, gone are the days of the puppy love life. After a while the reality of forever sets in and we start chipping away at the glacier of 'I Do'. And it's not that "we don't" it's just all the life happens. All the piles of laundry, sick kids, catching throw up in your hands, the way your spouse crunches their chips (SO LOUDLY!), the snoring, the hurts or how it seems they don't see you any more. But when the rubber hits the road the love is there and it's deeper than ever, you just may have to swim down to the depths of life to reach it again. So how do we love past the puppy dog days of a log time ago, back when he told you you were pretty and you actually believed him?

Serve

Most of us prefer to be served than to serve. That's just one of the first things Jesus did to show love. He served. He fed people. Cared for them. Fought for them. Washed their feet. Gave them time. Suffered for them. Spend some hard time reflecting. Am I serving my husband well? Are you serving out of love or a darker place of resentment and bitterness. Often times I'll slam the doors while I put his laundry away. When really, I could be praying over those shirts that he wears to work, that God would be with him in the work place. My chant recently is "it is my honor to serve God by serving him. It is my honor Lord. It is my honor." Loving deeply, past puppy love means serving like Jesus did. All day every day. Even when that act of service goes un noticed and unappreciated. Keep serving. God will provide.

Forgive

Real, true, Jesus style love comes with one truly binding commitment. Forgiveness. I believe the promise to forgive should be written in every vow recital from this day forward. Forgiveness is one of the most important parts of marriage. Maybe as you read those words you are thinking "but she doesn't know what he's done" and I mostly get that. But God knows what you've done, all the things, and he forgave you. Your forgiveness should stretch that far as far as Jesus' hands stretched out on the cross for you. A marriage without forgiveness is one sinking in bitterness and resentment. Pray for that God will lead you through forgiveness when you need it. Pray that he would open your eyes to see your husband through the Lord's eyes. I promise you, you will see your man like you never have before, if you are willing to open your eyes and heart to forgiveness

Pursue the Cross Together

Maybe your spouse isn't a believer. Pray every single day, on your knees that he would be changed by the cross. Never stop praying for that and be that for him. Show him how Jesus loves, by loving him that way. Show him how Jesus forgives, by forgiving him that way. Show him the truth, by living it out in the way you serve him everyday. If you are in a Christian marriage, pursue the cross together. Go to church, plus into a small group, serve your community together. Working for the Lord together in the name of the gospel is a sure fire way to fall madly in love with your man all over again.

Don't Stop Dating

Ya'll so many couples stop dating when they have kids. Knock that off! Your life structure should go like this GOD, EACH OTHER, KIDS. It's Biblical friends, research it. When those babies grow up and go off to make their own life, it's just the two of you. If you spend 18+ years never pouring into each other how do you think that's going to go? Stop being strangers in your own home. Get out, get away, look at each other, break bread together, laugh, fight, make up, make love. Do all of these things in the name of Jesus! God made marriage and sex in a beautiful way, go do both of those things well and with his blessing! Where there's a will there's a way people. Find child care. Recruit a friend to trade off kid watching, find a high schooler or college student you can trust, a sister, a neighbor or find a sitter service. Just get away together. Don't stop dating, it's dangerous territory. And listen, I have three kids, two of which are basically Irish twins, so I get it. It's not easy to get away, but hard things are worth it. Do the hard thing, book the date! (right now!)

Cheer Him On

Cheer on your man. Even when he's annoying you. Even when he's on the top of the mountain and especially when he's down. Be your man's biggest fan. Brag about him (even when you don't want to). Tell him thank you. Leave him love notes on his mirror. If he's a great provider and that's his jam, tell him that. If he's the best at fixing things in your house, praise his ever loving name! If you love the way his butt looks in those jeans, you best make sure he knows it. If he is doing a great job of being a Dad, say so. Don't hold in the happy, let it out. Men need confidence boosters sometimes, give it him. And who knows, it might just come right back at ya! Be the change in your marriage. If you're in a marriage rut, do the work on your end to make it better. Marriage is worth fighting for. When love seems deep down on the bottom of the ocean floor, strap on some scuba gear and swim down to find it! Jesus went to hell and back for love because it's always worth it.     [/tm_pb_text][/tm_pb_column][/tm_pb_row][/tm_pb_section]