The Truth About Stepmoms
In the celebration of Mom's this week, I want to talk about the special version of mom in my life. The stepmom.I am a stepmom. I have a stepmom. I co-parent with a stepmom.
We can assure you that none of us dreamed this for our lives, but God has turned all these ashes into beauty. My stepmom (whom I call mom because I have no memories without her in my life) is the reason I know and pursue Jesus. My stepson has taught me more about the audacious love of Jesus than anyone I know. My son's stepmom Noelle (whom he calls Nanah) has given my son a family full of love, even though she didn't have to.
Stepmoms do not have to be the enemy, they can actually become an extension of the love of Jesus in our lives.
It's been a hard journey. It's hard to have a split family. It's hard to co-parent. It's hard to split time and all the feelings. ALL THE FEELINGS. But because of the word stepmom, my life is filled more with the love and grace of God than it would otherwise be. The truth about stepmoms is that they never imagined this for their lives. When they dreamed of their knight and shining armor sweeping them off of their feet, riding in on his white horse, he didn't have a sidekick with him. I mean, dreamy white horses don't usually come with car seats attached. So, however they became a stepmom, they are probably doing their best with the fairytale handed to them.Here's how to embrace the truth about stepmom's
- Pray for them
- Love them
- Accept their role in your family
- Let the past fade away in the name of gospel love
- Let them love your kids and let your kids love them, understanding there's enough love to go around
- Give them the benefit of the doubt
- Embrace them, it will set you free, them free and your children free.
If this feels impossible to you I want to encourage you to give it to God. Guess what, he knows what it's like to co-parent with imperfect humans (he actively does this with us all day every day). Seek his guidance on how to be, how to love and how to embrace your extended family. Because if they belong in your child's family then they belong in your family. Also, we are all in the family of God as believers.No one knows how hard it is that your vision for your family is not what you imagined more than God. This was not God's vision for us either. Separation and sadness through the hurts of sin. This is God's exact experience with us since the garden. Separated from us he now has to share us with a future that he did not desire for us in the beginning. Yet he allows this separated life to still be filled with love and joy while awaiting true restoration. Give these relationships to him. Pray for connection opportunities and in the name of gospel love reign down God's love on these"steps" even if it feels impossible. The blessing will be yours and the overflow will be a family filled with love provided by the Father.I dedicate this truth to my BIG blended family which includes all sorts of "steps" that I can't imagine life without. The privilege is mine. To know you is to know the love of Jesus. I am unworthy of your love and yet here I sit in it because of the reckless love of God. This is the truth about stepmoms.